Valentine’s Day is upon us. For some people, this means extravagant dates, bouquets of flowers, champagne, romantic getaways… all that cliché stuff.

None of that is really for me, personally, but I am a sucker for a good pun and a cheesy pickup line. And it just so happens that I LOVE content marketing, as do the people I work with.

So I issued a challenge to my coworkers: Come up with the perfect content marketing pickup lines. And boy, did they deliver.

Fall in love with these content marketing pickup lines

Go grab a cup of coffee and something sweet, and then settle in and get ready to roll your eyes. Try not to laugh too loud at your desk, if you can help it.

First impressions are everything

You had me at ‘Download Now.’ – Walton Clark

Do you work out? Your domain strength is impressive. – Cassidy Wilson

The only impression I care about is your first impression of me. – Allie Stone

My brand could use some visibility. Are you seeing anyone? Cassidy Wilson

Nice to meet you, what’s your name? I have a name tag on, can’t you CNAME? – Meghan Callahan

Will you be my content marketing Valentine?I wasn’t planning on phishing, but you’re quite the catch. Cassidy Wilson

Finding the right audience

I’ve got a zero percent bounce rate. – Hatie Parmeter

My only goal conversion is being with you. – Walton Clark

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and X together so we could navigate the web more efficiently together. – Erin Balsa

So you’re an industry leader? Is your industry my heart?Cassidy Wilson

Would it be alright if I external-link our hands? – Chris Hassan

My keyword strategy includes ‘walks on the beach’ and candle-lit dinners.’ - Alex Santo

My keyword strategy includes ‘walks on the beach’ and candle-lit dinners.’ – Alex Santo

I just endorsed you on LinkedIn… for being beautiful! – Walton Clark

Are you a Tweet? Because I definitely like you. – Sarah Robinson

Let me kern U and I together. – Alison Eagle

The only keyword I want to rank for is ‘you.’ – Samantha Gordon

I’ll never treat you like Google+, baby. – Cassidy Wilson

Falling in love with content

Can you grant me Google Analytics access… to your heart? – Chris Hassan

I get loads of page views, but your time on page is all that matters to me. – Samantha Gordon

I just adjusted my editorial calendar and (e)booked a date with you every Saturday for the rest of eternity. – Cassidy Wilson

Your Behavior Flow leads straight to my heart. – Matt Henebury

You and me together feels pretty organic.Cassidy Wilson

I’ll never unsubscribe from your daily newsletter. – Samantha Gordon

With a site like yours, I’m never gonna bounce. – Eric Wendt

Don’t adwords right now. I want to appreciate this perfect moment with you. Cassidy Wilson

Before you, the world was grayscale. Now I see life in CMYK. – Alison Eagle

I think we’re a perfect fit. We’re always on the same landing page. – Allie Stone

Want to know what metric I use to track our relationship success? How about engagement?! – Samantha Gordon

I love you, from the bottom of my sales funnel. – Cassidy Wilson

Being risqué can really heat things up

Do you have a quick page load time, or you just happy to see me? – Caroline Egan

Risque content can be quite shocking.

I’d double-tap that. – Michael Murphy

My mind is telling me DuckDuckGo, but my body is telling me Yandex. – Walton Clark

I assure you the UI matches the UX. – Caroline Egan

Want to come over my place and see my feature images? – Ken Boostrom

Are you an optimized landing page? Because your form is making me want to submit. – Brendon Cottreau


Have a content marketing pickup line of your own? Tweet it to us with the hashtag #contentisforlovers.

Samantha Gordon is the Managing Editor of With a diverse background writing and editing everything from blogs and whitepapers to romance and sci-fi, Samantha strives for greatness in grammar and quality.